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But I’m really a Cat Person

I’ve had a cat residing with me for approximately three years. I love my cat. We sometimes resemble each other…depending on the week. I don’t know if her overall independent neediness rubs off on me, or if she picks up on my laziness and follows suit…or possibly it is vice versa. Either way, in the past three years I have learned that I am a true cat person. There was a reason my favorite DC character was always Catwoman. I don’t know why I ever doubted this about myself. I was clearly supposed to be a cat.

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I said if I ever had a house I would have a dog. I am not sure why I thought this was my story, although I do like dogs. I thought I wanted a big dog, a retriever maybe. “Dogs are loyal. Dogs have personality. ”

They are and they do…Boy do they ever.

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photcred: elwood023 (instagram)

I have a great friend who is a dog person. She also lives right across the hall from me. She recently brought into our lives a large husky baby. This white ton of fur is only a little over a year old. He loves to moan and talk and run. I opted to help my dear girl with her dog needs. Which means that most of the time I’m sitting and watching her deal. I might play with a chew toy with Hendrix, but I’m not like …running him in the park. When he jumps on me I’m not helping her “teach him discipline”. I’m not assisting with the teaching of tricks (why?). I hold  the leash once while we walk him and train my core muscles while keeping him from jerking my life around.

Friend: “You have to talk it out of him, otherwise he is never gonna poop…omg are you listening, are you like in your own world??”

Me “WHAT??”

Friend “You have to talk to him …like I do”

Me “Omg are you serious?? I exclaim. Then, after watching the dog smell every leaf of grass for signs of ” other puppy” bathrooms, I began to imitate all dog owners I know: “HENDRIX! ARE YOU GONNA POOP?? DO YOU NEED TO POOP! COME ON BOY LETS POOP!!” I turn back to her with my resting bitch face..”how was that?”

I mean really? We don’t have to coach him to pee. I don’t get it.

I do love Hendrix. I don’t like it when he wants to lick lotion off my legs, but he is good as a pillow. He gives good full body hugs…whether we  think we want them or not. He is soft and as big as he is he CAN prance like a deer when he wants. I like he talks in his dog voice with different inflections. It’s quite interesting. He loves me, I’ve named myself his crazy aunt.

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photocred: Elwood023 (Instagram)

 

I dont like it when he begs for food every single time it is in our hands, as if he has been banished to a foreign country where they hunt dogs. I’m supposed to discourage him from doing this in the same way I am supposed to encourage him to poo. But I don’t. I just put on my grumpy cat face and ignore him. I don’t like to try to make him not jump and scratch on us. I thought that it was because I empathized with Hendrix and the fact that he doesn’t understand but now I think it is because maybe in the back of my cat brain I just assume he should know and if he doesn’t know then my nonchalance about the issue will make him figure this out. When I ignore the cat she’ll go away ( unless there is someone new she is curious about or she has NOT YET had her food. If she has NOT eaten then she will get vengeful, which is understandable and so this is something we have in common 😎)

“You have to help me with this, he has got to stop doing that! He wont learn unless you tell him no, smack him on the nose. Be more aggressive!!!”       The only time I have laid hands on the dog is that one time when I was making an important phone call (to a man no less) and Hendrix wouldn’t stop howling and jumping on me. I slapped the ever loving moan out of him and immediately he silenced himself.

Me: “Yeah here is my territory border, dude… hissssscratchh.”

The reality of my cat persondom (as opposed to dog life )struck me this morning before eight o clock. I’m a bartender and so naturally nocturnal (another similarity) I was awoken to my dear friend knocking at my door. I contemplated pretending to be gone but she knows me too well. So at her second plea, I opened the door. In my sweat shorts and a Mickey shirt from Old Navy, with no under clothes on, hair awry and sleep in my eyes. Her big blue pleading eyes that could only otherwise be on a small orphan child holding my attention, her hands clasping Hendrix’ leash as he strained forward trying to get to my escaping cat. “Can you please take him for his morning walk? I have to get to work or I’m gonna be late”

I have to focus. Nope not a dream . “Ok sure, just give me a min-”

“Thank you, I’m sorry..” handing me the leash..

“lemme get dressed”

“No you have to take him now, he is gonna do it in the floor if you don’t! you look cute! You are ok, just please”

“Then let me get my shoes!”

She hands me the dog..

“I cant hold the dog in the apartment, he is going after the cat-just hold him one more second”

One minute later she is in her car on her way and I am outside in the morningness walking the dog who pees rivers as soon he steps out the door. Right on the pavilion post out front. Then he walked three steps and did it again. Then he did his ritual marking. ( what’s the real difference?) I knew he had to do number two so…I had to prance down the sidewalk for ten minutes waiting on this to happen. Yes…I finally “talked to him”
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photcred: Danielle Bethune (me)

After loud morning negotiations he finally gave up the shit, which smelled to high heaven and was the same color as the pine needles under a tree that is planted across the sidewalk in front of the Lutheran Church. The three piles he walked out of himself was under a tree a quarter of a mile from our building. I looked at the mess…then at the poo bag tied to his collar. “Oh I ain’t picking that up” I thought and proceeded back to apartment. ( picture of Hendrix prancing after his relief). Then I realized that this was right in front of the church and this is Easter week.

“Sigh”… I can’t let little kids walk in crap that I knew was there. I went back and filled the little bag with pine needled crap and chucked it in the garbage can.  Hendrix was happy and I got him back to his food bowl safe. I thought to myself that maybe I should rotate this morning duty with my friend. It is probably good for me. Nice oxygen to the brain. I’m ready for the day. I mean it’s kind of human bonding thing.

This is dog owner in the city life. Going outside in near nakedness without shame, screaming at your dog to poop, and feeling completely balanced in life because every other dog owner is doing and thinking the same. I know they do because I’ve sat outside at night with my wine and smokes watching and judging them.

Then I went back to my apartment, put on a pot of coffee and snuggled back down and took a small nap…just as my cat was doing.
Because that is how we roll.

photocred (me)

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The Outliers

A few months ago I was having a political discussion with a more left leaning friend of mine. He is one of the few that enjoys dialogue and can have it without losing friends. He stayed along the discussion lines that were being repeated by the media at that time, “Trump only appeals to middle aged white men”. At the time I was not a Trump supporter, but I had been questioning some of the sound bites I had been hearing. I had also started to question why it was that everyone-everyone -found it more appropriate to hate Trump than to question what the media said. I mean everyone on both sides describes their distrust of the media…until it came to this. When it came to this, the media and social media were speaking gospel according to the millennial liberals (who love to question everything). I answered that tired and dividing accusation that Trump only appealed to angry racist white men, “but that isn’t true…what about all these black supporters that keep stunning reporters, showing up at rallies, and starting youtube channels and fb pages”

“Outliers…there are always outliers…every election, you can’t pay attention to the outliers”, he answered with a wave of his hand.

I was dumbfounded. “Outliers”. So…because they are black and they support Trump. Because something in what he says inspires and resonates with them, they are “ouliers” and don’t matter. Becuase they wandered off the Democrat plantations so to speak, they are outliers. How eloquently racist, and he didn’t even realize it.

 So I started following outliers. And I found a lot. Every time there was an unbelievably charged accusation about Trump, I found outlier sources that would put those lines in context or tell the whole story. You know that you can rewrite history and change any story by taking out one line right? I also started to notice, that none of this negativity and hate for Trump had anything to do with the country. It had to do with supposed perceptions. The people’s manipulated perception of Trump as a narcissistic, racist, xenophobic and sexist meglomaniac. I’ve been following Trump for a long time, I always liked his show and I read his books, which inspired me and my brother greatly. He took chances and did things. Yes, he was a womanizer, but that wasn’t and isn’t my concern.

 

 

What interested me was that in all the years of Trump in the spotlight, he was never accused of being any of these vile things. Clinton, however, has pandered to votes of ethnic minorities for year. She has a political history of lying and nation destabilization. She has a history of support with the prison industry. She is backed by big pharma, big banks and Monsanto. All the things millennials are against but wanted to ignore #becausefeelings.  Had Trump run on the democratic ticket, he wouldn’t have gotten this kind of harassment. Even the Obama’s weighed in, putting the weight of “legacy” on people and talking about Trump’s jaded view from his ivory tower. So when there are riots in the streets, and property damage and things stolen, we are told that it’s because living in these areas is hell. But when Trump said it, he was being jaded and racist? Apparently this was not so to the “outliers”.

  In the outliers I heard voices from people that had been inspired and had been let down by the last president that they voted in. You can say that the people who voted for Trump were racist and hated Obama, but everybody knows that a whole host and then some who are white voted for Obama. It was uncontested both times. No matter how much the media loves and thrives on division some things just are true. Yes there are racist, but some things are more important to most people than race and gender or sexual habits. I was hearing from the neverttrump crowd that he was unqualified and not a real Christian or conservative and he was being a bumbling idiot.

Well …aren’t we being Victorian all of the sudden? Maybe it is the eight years of beautiful speeches that tell you nothing, and eloquent answers that don’t answer your questions. Everyone became conditioned and also cold. I saw so many statuses like “if you are voting for Trump unfriend me now” …I would never attack one of my liberal friends or taunt them with that status. So I obliged them.  I have never been scared to say who I support in politics before. I would argue with the best argument. But this time I played like I was on the fence and just observed. The nastiness toward anyone who was a Trump supporter was palpable. All media staged and fed. I thank God for the outliers who told me something different. They were brave and faced adversity for stating their own mind and not the collective. They were speaking as Americans first.

I voted for Trump because I’m an American. As an American I would rather take a chance on someone who is not a politican who cannot spin speeches and does not wait till he is behind doors to tell the truth. We all know the country has been rigged for a long time, but we also know that Clinton is one of the biggest players in that rigging. I knew what she would do, why would I dare give her my vote? Screw that. Thats what me, and the outliers, and outcasts, and the old people, and the young people, and the diverse and inspired crowd that the media never dared showed you, decided when we cast our vote. I voted for Trump because I know who I am, I’m not a marxist. I’m an American. If I wanted to live under marxism, in any of its forms I would move somewhere ruled by it. Yesterday all the outliers in flyover states came out of the closet. All the Christians that Clinton insulted. All the deplorable people. Everyone who saw Clinton get a pass that none of the rest of us would EVER get. All of us who are tired of getting smacked with “check your privilege”. All of us who were tired of weekly hearing about a new law written by a pen and a phone. All of us who are tired of the news getting away with made up stories and are tired of being surrounded by people apathetic to it.  All of us who knew that the DNC planned and executed Anti Trump protests and then blamed Bernie Sanders. We made history, and no one can blame or chalk it up to racism.  Aren’t we smarter than that? Do we not remember who we are?  I didn’t watch it happen, because inspired as I was I didn’t have the faith to believe that even this historical turnout could keep someone who broke the law, and owned the media and seemingly the polls, someone who got a pass from the FBI twice, out of the white house if she wanted in.

But the outliers weren’t buying it, and if she got in it would be so obviously rigged only a blind person wouldn’t see it. It’s the year of opposite and strange things.

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The CUBS won the World Series this year.

And now rain can end this Alabama drought.

 
May God protect us and keep us safe and coherent and at peace in the coming years.

Buzzfeed and Their Little Privileges

Today I read a four day old article that was complete shallow bullshit. Actually the real shit is should be compared to is chickenshit, since chicken shitting is for cowards who amplify everyone else’s downfalls to make their own selves look grand. Go ask a big cisgendered male military veteran about chicken shit and the kind of cowards who are guilty of it.

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Which brings me to the chickenshitter at hand. It is cowardly to write an exhaustive cultural commentary on the supposed insulting oppression of Tom Hank’s whiteness and post it in the millennial version of huffpost; which is the cesspool of narcissism gone to hell and resurrected. Especially when once again the one holding the bullhorn is a WHITE female, who must have like some aggravation towards her own dad that she is taking out on Mr. Hanks. Yes, I’m the other side of the coin..there are many things I could be writing about. Things like Syria, Russia, impending apocalypse. The ever growing mountain of crimes and dead bodies associated with the Clinton family and how the Bush family hates Donald Trump and no one seems to be making that connection. I could be writing about the large gathering of Native Americans that the media didn’t cover, who collectively forgave this nation and how this is a spiritual awakening and  we could really be making true progress in interracial relations. I could be writing about how I only just discovered that the story about Trump making fun of a disabled reporter was a complete fabrication, and how I felt “took” and made a fool of by the media.

But I’m not. I’m writing about my disgust for the kind of writers who write ten page blogs about “white dadness” and supposed “white privilege”. Call me triggered.

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I sent the article to a liberal friend who was also shocked. And angered. He defended Hanks “Tom Hanks is one of the most progressive people in the busniess, Buzzfeed will hurt for writing this”.
No.No, actually. No they wont. Even though the majority of comments on the article are confused and wondering what the point of the author was. Even though they are defensive for the their love of the beloved “dad” of actors. Buzzfeed wont suffer or take heat for their stupidity. Just like huffpost has never suffered for their stupidity and hypocrisy. Because this is what we have now. These are the “legit” arguments we are up against. Constantly. You see them in comment wars on youtube and sighing eye rolling offensive arguments against the slightest joke. It is the reason we have documentaries like “Can We Take A Joke” and institutions like FIRE. We are trying to preserve what little bit of free thought is left. I hear it every time I hear the kids at the table next to me in Starbucks talking in puffs of impassioned nothingness. I see it’s result and the uphill fight it causes  when a progressive lesbian professors ask me if I can explain to them the term “cisgender” because they heard their students using it and as educators they think it is the stupidest word to ever pollute the English language. I hear it when I hear actual arguments against the nineties television series “Friends” for its lack of diversity and unrealistic representation of New York City …since all the main characters were white. Never mind the show is called “Friends” and is based on five people and not entire college dorm or the entire city of New York. Never mind it was one of the first shows to feature lesbian relationships on prime time. Never mind that Ross was involved in more than one interracial relationship. Even the racially diverse shows of the past are accused of only being made “for white people”(Cosby /Different World). If millennials had their way all books would be banned and all past television shows and possibly music (except for Pink Floyd and Zepplin) would be trashed. We would all have to sign forms acknowledging our oppressive whiteness just to express any and every view. It never ends. We are guilty when we try to atone for our sins and we are guilty when we don’t. Guilty when we bathe in our guilt and guilty when we don’t. Tom Hanks is white. And a legend. Damn him and the fellow white people who went to watch his movies. AH-And the DADNESS of him. Screw all white dads and those of us who loved our white dads. It just goes on and on.

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These are the actual cultural issues that today’s cultural/social/political studies majors worry about. Seriously. And there is no safe room for any of us from the ilk. Liberals of old are not safe. The progressives born of the sixties and inspiring generations till the nineties are just as disrespected and spat upon as any middle aged conservative. Believe me, I have a very diverse group of friends or associations. When I say diverse I mean of various cultures and ethnic backgrounds. I mean of various age groups. I mean of differing sexual orientation. The gay republican, the libertarian female, the black Trump supporter, and the classically liberal non voting male who just wants everyone to think critically and objectively, will all get the same vile vitriol of speeches that has no life experience to back it up. Because everyone with an opinion that is different ( diverse) is “an outlier” and is shunned or ignored and made not to exist, while everyone else is up for scrutiny and long posts about privilege and comfort. That kind of post comes from the exact same “safe and privileged” place …yeah it’s called chickenshit.

The most liberal and progressive and politically outspoken man in Hollywood is guilty of nothing more than being a white man, and according to the little child of privilege that wrote the piece, he is only famous because he makes white people comfortable. Wow.

 

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Millennials. Can we just send them on a permanent field trip to Mosul? Or Venezuela? See what kind of naval lint they can find to get on about there, when all their own privileges of speech and dedication mean absolutely nothing.

 

My Second published effort.

A few months ago I published on Elephant Journal . After a few futile attempts from me, I struck a chord with them again and they have published another one of my opinions. I like this site. Please check it out.

Remember the Past or Repeat it in November

Recently I started a new job..actually ninety two days ago I started a new job. Because it was a new job and my pay was not as consistent as it was with my previous job and the insurance was slightly more than my previous job, I procrastinated on enrolling in said benefits. I knew the time was near, and finally called them today. I missed the enrollment by two days. BUT I was told (because it is the law to inform your employees about the Marketplace even if they already know) if I needed health insurance before open enrollment, I could always go to the Marketplace under the Affordable Care Act… it might be a little more expensive than what we have but at least I would be covered”. Yes I already know the maze of insanity and expense that is the ACA but I think its hilarious every time it said JUST LIKE THAT. Given that I do make less than before I decided to swallow my pride and check it out…but the enrollment for them was up on Jan 31st..unless I’m pregnant or getting married.

And that is how the Government makes things easier for it’s citizens. And all the little Bernie Comrades want to implement that model in everything. They just don’t remember or have not experienced what we all did once the  ACA passed..nothing is free.

It was my fault and ill planning that caused me to call my providers two days late, but I shouldn’t be fined for it come tax season. Neither should anyone else.

Let the markets compete and prices will go down.

And that’s my two cents.

The Theater

    I’m just an observer and this really isn’t about the the election. If you let people talk long enough they tell on themselves. If you watch anything long enough you see all the parallels between them. I would ask anyone watching or participating in any public discourse or politics in the past year to ask first what makes sense. From what I can see, nothing does. I’m not supporting Trump, but I also can say truthfully that I’ve watched speeches, and then seen those same speeches chopped up in the media. On still another hand, he doesn’t need the media to help him incite or anger people. He is quite smart on how to do it himself. The Bernie supporters love to talk about love and how he is the candidate for love. On and on it goes…but when Bernie himself makes excuses and claims “he cant be responsible for the actions of his supporters” (you know when they have their own rallies and become violent in their reactions) he gets a free pass…because tolerance. Both Sanders and Trump have their share of violent and obsessive supporters, the same can’t be said for Clinton; she doesn’t need violent support she has her own record of violence and support of violence. She also has old hat feminist like Steinem and Albright, who recently stated that “there was a special place in hell for women who didn’t support other women”. These same women never ever support conservative or independent voting women who come under attack. Yay for tolerance. When we step back and look at this chaos and take our emotions out of it we can see that it needs our full attention and participation to run. Whether it is our anger or our support. Whether it is our social media likes and shares, or our tears of redemption when we feel acknowledged. Whether it is our full belief in the demonization of one side or our full belief in the saving love of the other, it takes our full attention with its distracting noise. It as distracting and entertaining and time consuming as any football game or “dropped album by Bey”.

      In 2016 we are having a hard time with what is a man and what is a woman, what is straight man who identifies as a straight woman and what is straight woman who identifies as a gay male…or something. We want to remake society for these questions and ignore that Russia is buzzing our own bases, Syrian hospitals are being bombed and fifty people including the last pediatrician are killed, there are three nuclear plants leaking on our own soil , there are family detention centers aka prisons and little children who probably cant speak English stand before courts without representation, while we stand quietly and judge or ignore. Jews are fleeing the UK because they don’t feel physically safe-all while in our universities we demand “Safe spaces” for our feelings and dis-inivite or shutdown dialogues we don’t agree with, and get on violent BDS trends. Because tolerance.

          I was thinking about all this and how passionate and emotionally high this election cycle has been. People are voting feelings. No matter what the media portrays, I can assure you that the Trump supporters I know are not “rich white racist”. The Sanders supporters I know are not “a bunch of communist”. In fact I’ve been surprised at who I have found to support him. What all of them have in common is a belief that their candidate will change the status quo. Getting down to the dirt of what those running actually speak with their mouths and ideas, it is very crystal clear, that no they will not nor can they change the system. In fact much of what they propose will not change the system because what they propose is already a huge part of the system.  In 2014, a good friend of mine told me “we can’t fight them, but they want us to think we can. The US is prepped. Protect your mind”.  Since I lost him, all I see around me is evidence that he was right. Though he would argue with my worldview, and had nothing for my religion, I know he was right and we agreed that there was a predatory system on this planet.

     None of these people are the devil nor Jesus, but I will say that as a Christian I have kind of been sickened at how Christians have rallied behind Trump..and then the ones who have also rallied behind Sanders. No, people of the internet, the tribal ways in which the ancient Jews and Christians lived was not socialist. It was not communist, heck these were not even words back then. These were tribal communities and they lived as such-and they were in hiding or in struggles with the governments much of the time. We need to think about that.Because we are all guilty of trying to play a system that is not God’s system. It is the worlds system and it has played us and it is still doing it. Every time a politician plays to the evangelical vote, or pretends to care about the Christians being killed somewhere else, or panders to Pat Robertson, we respond like Pavlovs dogs. On the other side they do it with abortion rights and name calling religious people extremists and hatemongers. Well, we are all guilty of falling for that experiment I guess. But to my fellow Christians, please understand that from where I sit, there is no difference among any of them and we are headed for a dark place. If any of us thought any candidate would keep up from going there we were sorely wrong.

It is time to remember who we are, and stop playing the worlds game. We need to pray-not “Against” this or that, but pray for our souls, pray for each other and seek God on what to do and how or who we can help in the coming days. I guarantee you that no matter who is in office, more people will need help than ever before and it will be up to the creative gifts bestowed on us, to be His hands and feet. We must pray for wisdom on how to speak and react, because the powers that be are watching and waiting for any opportunity to accuse us and silence us or use us as pawns to enact some new bill up their sleeve. Wherever you go to pray, go there. That is what God is waiting on, He can deal with the rest, He isn’t even concerned about it. I assure you that He is concerned with how His children are worrying and playing in it.The seeds we have sown in the past have fully grown and are coming for us, let us stop perpetuating the growth, repent for our part in it and move forward, not worrying about this evil system but being about truth.

“Keep your mind clear, and be alert. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion as he looks for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

“Do not call conspiracy everything this people calls a conspiracy; do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it.” Isaiah 8:12

Illogic 

In the past few weeks I have seen some things that seriously defy any kind of logic. I really feel intellectually assaulted every time I see headlines on my iPhone, or take a scroll through my newsfeed. I unsubscribed to many new sites over the last year. I had too much personal grief to have to view and wear everyone’s personal offenses by technological default. But the reality is none of us have a safe space all the time. None of us, if we want live and engage. I’m not going into a long tirade about things, norms pointing out the obvious with long descriptive definitions to try to make people see things, I’m done with that if anyone wants it then go read The Matt Walsh blog. I’m done with the anger, I’m just tired.

I read this week that some mall in Los Angelas has banned champion boxer, Manny Pacquiao, a philanthropist and now a  a hopeful statesman to the Philippines for his ” hateful” opinion on marriage. So mom and pop bakeries have to make cakes, agree to potentially cater a gay wedding or they are shut down, sued and publicly shamed..but a huge mall in California can publicly shame and ban someone for their beliefs? I would say it is an aussault on small business, and hey maybe it is… I mean it’s the big corporations that are banning entire states now anyway and no one really cares what Muslim bakeries do and they have to be used for other narratives. (Oh and how about America trying to derail someone’s political campaign in the Phillipines ? I won’t go there…)

There was a college age white dude that got sentenced in North Korea for trying to take a piece of political propaganda out of the state – I forget the details about it but I do remember the whole write up on huffpost about white privilege and how the writer of said article said she didn’t feel sorry for the kid because you know it was retribution  for all the sins of white male privilege. To be sentenced … In North Korea with fifteen years hard labor…while she , in America, can writhe in anger writing about it. Wow. That makes as much sense as banning Israel in the name of women’s rights while Syria, Iraq and Iran whip, bludgeon, stone and forbid to divorce or drive, yeah women. Let that make your mind spin.

Today I read a headline ” by opposing Obama, the republicans created Trump”. Oh lord here we go again. By opposing and or disagreeing with Obama – we created all sins done in the past eight years. It was never the administration creating really bad karma because according to most news media, only white people disagree with the president. Other dissendents don’t exist, just like pro life women don’t exist to Gloria Steinhem ( or Hillary Clinton until ten minutes ago).

I mean I could say ” oh but opposing Bush created the muse of hope and change” but you see that would be one of those circular arguments based on emotion. See what I did there?

We don’t have news. We have instigating headlines that place emotions, angers and new definitions of what hate, crimes and sex are at top priority.

“be careful about taking sides … People will try to make you… But no matter which side you take, they are all lying”- J.T.

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